did you get engaged???
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
