i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i think my cat just said my name.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
