if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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