Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
