For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
