Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
