awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
BRING THE BAGELS
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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