Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
