She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
