hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
