That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
