I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
