Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.

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(360): View more from Washington

He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.

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(707): View more from California

she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute

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(250): View more from British Columbia

We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase

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(213): View more from California

holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So there's that.

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(425): View more from Washington

I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.

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