They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
