i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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