How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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