TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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