Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
organizing the empties. That sober.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
