i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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