I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
