I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
