I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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