I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
