i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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