Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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