We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i out mim tonsoeep
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