Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
