Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
