Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize