i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just gift wrapped bread.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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