BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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