So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
