lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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