sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
