I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize