It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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