Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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