just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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