to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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