seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So squirting runs in the family.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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