Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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