I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Come on in and take your pants off
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