happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
