I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
