also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
