So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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