i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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