I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize