How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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