Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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