I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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