Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
