We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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