mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
