I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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