Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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