i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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