that's an acceptable place to lick
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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