I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
