I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
