dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
