are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
